#339. spongebob, becoming a pilot & being a lifelong student
TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS
Age: 26
Relationship Status: single / never been in a relationship
Occupation: Flight Attendant / Pilot (in training)
Income: none, just surviving on a stipend
Astrological Sign: aquarius sun, taurus moon, leo rising
How are you, really?
I feel pretty okay at the moment! I’ve been feeling so light and warm lately, it almost feels surreal.
What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?
I took a leave of absence from my flight attendant job to pursue flight training full time. I got my private pilot license while working but it was super hard to manage both, so I decided to take the jump and just focus on training. I also moved out of my parent’s house and to a new city alone to do this…with no income. It was super scary to give up two huge safety nets for me at the time, but I’m so close to having my commercial pilot license and becoming a flight instructor. It’s funny that this is the most financially unstable I’ve ever been, while also being the most in alignment I’ve ever felt. Genuinely one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself, it’s boosted my confidence in so many ways.
What is something you hope never changes?
I hope my curiosity and drive never change. I’ve always been a “if something interests me, I’m going to follow it and see where it leads” kind of person. I used to be so ashamed of this because I could never just focus on one thing, and it seemed like I was all over the place compared to everyone else. However, I’ve studied environmental engineering in Thailand and Spanish in Argentina, completed an art residency in Guatemala, served as a photo editor for a magazine, tutored students in physics, and taught myself to play the guitar and bass - the list goes on. I love learning and have way too many hobbies, but I also have so many cool stories and have done so many awesome things because of my curiosity and being a lifelong student.
When do you feel most capable?
When I keep my word to myself, I think. Like if I say I’m going to do something, and I actually do it. It makes me feel like I can do anything, so I’ve been trying to do that more.
How do you nurture yourself?
Working out/daily movement, going to the beach, cooking, and figuring out how to make my favorite foods from scratch, resting whenever my body asks for it (learning how not to feel guilty for this).
How do you nurture others?
I’m still learning how to do this, like how to be a better friend/sister/daughter/etc. I get wrapped up in my own world so often that I forget to check in with others. So, I’m trying to be more present to start. Whenever I’m talking to someone, I try to give them my full attention. I love complimenting people too; if something about someone catches my attention, I try to let them know.
Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?
So many things. In general, I wish I had stood up for myself more in different situations. I’ve always been one to keep the peace with people, but I’m learning that it’s not okay to do that when it’s costing me mine.
What is something that turns you on?
Thoughtfulness and kindness are HUGE for me. Also, people who are curious/passionate about something…like, tell me everything!
What is something that turns you off?
Any form of rudeness or unwillingness to admit when one is wrong or doesn’t know something.
When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?
I recently ended things with a guy I was talking to casually. I knew it wasn’t serving me from the start because I am not a casual-situation type of person, but the connection was nice, and it felt like it was the best I was ever going to get. I feel so much lighter now, honestly, wish I had done it earlier.
How often do you feel you achieve balance?
Recently, it has been on a daily basis. Pilot training requires so much focus, but since I’m not working at the moment, I find that I have more free time in my day-to-day life than I did when I was also an active flight attendant. So, when I’m not studying/flying, I’ve been making space to paint, play my guitar, visit the beach, etc. I’m an artist too, so I’ve been trying to make space for that side of myself as much as I can.
What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?
Becoming a pilot! I don’t have any pilots in my family and I didn’t even take my first flight until I was around 18. I like to know how things work, so I started taking an interest in airplanes by just looking up facts about them. I never thought I’d do anything with the interest until I became a flight attendant (which was also completely random). A pilot I was flying with noticed my interest one day and suggested taking an introductory flight to try it out. I was completely hooked afterward. For most people, this was a childhood dream, but I was just riding on pure curiosity when I decided to start, and it’s been so rewarding.
When do you feel most overwhelmed?
When I procrastinate or when I let things build up instead of just tackling them head-on when they come up. I have a bad habit of doing this. It creates so much background anxiety.
How do you move forward?
I just take everything day by day, hour by hour sometimes. I also have a rule for myself: if I’m feeling down, I have to give myself the space to feel it by crying, writing it out, or whatever I need. But after that? I have to get up.
What is something that will always make you laugh?
Spongebob! It feeds my inner child so much and always makes me feel good. I love sending Spongebob memes, and it makes me so happy when my friends send them back because they know how much I love them.
What is something that will always make you cry?
Seeing other people cry.
Have you ever been betrayed?
Absolutely. The most recent instance was with someone I thought was a good friend and actually cared about me. It definitely made me approach how I develop trust in people differently.
What is your greatest temptation?
Hm, probably shopping. I love expressing myself through clothing, but my budget is tight right now, so I really have to be more mindful about it. I love thrifting, but even that adds up!
What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?
This one is hard because I feel pretty content. I guess a stronger relationship with my dad, if I had to pick something. He’s in my life, but we’re not extremely close. It would be nice to be, but I also think I’m doing okay without it.
What is one thing you can’t get enough of?
Flying! It is genuinely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done, and I always feel so grateful that I’m able to. Every time I line up on the runway to take off and the centerline comes into view before advancing the throttle, I’m in awe every single time. It’s such a blessing.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I have a new crush! He’s just a friend, but meeting him has felt like such a breath of fresh air. I didn’t know that I could like someone so much, but still feel so grounded. Just being near him makes me want to be so completely myself, and it’s weird because I’ve never felt so calm around someone. Like no butterflies, just a deep sense of “oh hey, there you are.” Anytime we make eye contact, it’s like time stops, and I could talk to him forever. Other people have actually asked me if there’s anything going on because we’re always gravitating toward each other, so apparently I’m not doing a good job at hiding it. I probably sound like a teenager, but I’ve felt so much warmer and more loving lately because of it. I don’t know if it’ll ever go anywhere, and it’s a little scary, honestly, but I’m just grateful to know that I can feel this way. I'm glad my heart still works, and that’s cool (haha!).