#342. skydiving, getting arrested & growing through what you go through
TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS
Age: 24
Relationship Status: dating my partner for 6+ years working through a rough patch
Occupation: private events bartender
Income: $36-42k
Astrological Sign: September Virgo: Virgo sun, Libra moon, Leo rising
How are you, really?
I’m okay and have nothing to complain about. I love my job and what I do but I’m burnt out. When I’m there, it’s rewarding. I have the best coworkers and friends. I love hospitality. But being around so many different energies and personalities is exhausting. 50+ person parties 5-6 days a week, sometimes 2-3 different parties a day is hard. It tests my extrovert.
What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?
To be honest, I got arrested a year ago today – I just realized that typing this. I’m the last person you’d think that would happen to. I’m the leader and example, but I was going though stuff while “functioning.” I wasn’t ready to face it until it faced me. I went through counseling, left my toxic 6 yr relationship and moved by myself, 3 hours from home, I’m alcohol sober for nine months, and marijuana sober for three. I now have my own condo on a GOLF COURSE on a LAKE FRONT VIEW BI*CHHH! I’ve been gluten free for a year, touching back into my holistic roots, and have returned to my spirituality. I’m me again.
What is something you hope never changes?
My friendship circle and support group.
When do you feel most capable?
Capable, not sure. But I am confident in my industry. Also, when I am teaching. I’d love to be a home economics/family & consumer sciences teacher. I love nutrition. I dropped out of dietetics school because of chemistry. But I like where I am work-wise and am most likely a catering business in the next few years!
How do you nurture yourself?
Eating what’s good for my body and nourishing myself with whole organic foods. Tuning into my spirituality. Going where the universe directs me.
How do you nurture others?
I’m the support friend and the emotional support gal. I’m a very open book. Nothing phases me and I’ll talk about anything and give my best to help others through. Even if I can’t relate, I can support and uplift.
Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?
I wish I knew how to apologize better, be more empathetic and less self-centered in some ways. But I also wish I knew narcissistic or manipulating tendencies and how to handle them better. You give, you take, and you learn. My high school senior quote was “You regret what you don’t do and say.” So technically no, but to answer the question, sometimes yes.
What is something that turns you on?
Arms and back. I loveeee a defined back, shoulders and arms.
What is something that turns you off?
Weak minded selfish people. A “yes” man. A one upper. A masculine energy that doesn’t provide. Masculine doesn’t define a gender role either, iykyk.
When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?
Leaving my “ex” that I’m working on things with. He wouldn’t have grown up for us if I didn’t leave him for a while.
How often do you feel you achieve balance?
Not too often. My work life balance sucks.
What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?
Skydiving. Hiking in Colorado too, and again, leaving my ex to be where we are now.
When do you feel most overwhelmed?
Work. It’s exhausting but rewarding.
How do you move forward?
Allow yourself to feel guilt instead of blacking/blocking it out and accept forgiveness for yourself. Allow yourself to have second chances to move forward and make changes. If you apologize to yourself and others, you’ll change.
What is something that will always make you laugh?
My friend falling off my longboard going downhill. Also, my mom - she’s hilarious. Not that we’re not best friends, but if she wasn’t my mom and was 20 years younger, my lordddd we’d be something else.
What is something that will always make you cry?
The song “Everything Goes Black.” Or “All Too Well.” Those strike a sad nerve from time periods no longer resonate with and can’t hear them anymore.
Have you ever been betrayed?
Whew, yes indeed. My old boss, my high school ex, my ex best friend, customers/regulars who I thought were friends. The list goes on. The ones who “you don’t have to worry about because they have a good head on their shoulders” still need affirmations sometimes and need to hear some supportive words.
What is your greatest temptation?
Weed and alcohol. I’m on probation though. You grow through what you go through, and I’ve needed this sobriety.
What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?
I’m three hours from home and I love where I am each day; my mom is from where I live now but still lives where I used to. I miss MY old home a lot. All of my family and friends are there, but my mom’s family is here. I see my grandma and aunt (her sister) and my mom feels left out when she’s not with us. It’s her first time ”here” too even though she’s 53, it makes me sad for us. I miss her, she misses me. I’m in her hometown and she’s in mine.
What is one thing you can’t get enough of?
Mac n cheese.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
Not good, but some life advice: I’ve learned. I’ve changed. Life is amazing, short, and beautiful. You can fix things if both parties want to. Your soulmate isn’t a lover. It can be your 60+ year old neighbor. The pets love you and feel safe with you. Fuck the government. What you feel right is best, even if it’s against societal norms, stand on your beliefs! We are all in this silly era doing this together. Humanity is beautiful and we are one if we can align. We’re all human and tune in. Education isn’t limited to schooling and that’s beautiful. You grow through what you go through.