#343. starting over, meeting new people & feeling heard
TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS
Age: 24
Relationship Status: In a relationship, living with partner
Occupation: Data Analyst
Income: $70,000
Astrological Sign: Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, Taurus rising
How are you, really?
I would say I am just okay. I recently started living with my partner, and it’s been a bit of an adjustment. I love him, but I’ve always been a pretty independent person, and it’s hard learning how to live with someone.
What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?
I moved to a new state and got a new job. It was bittersweet. I spent the first 2 years of post-grad in a new city and really found myself there. I am excited about the new city I’ve just moved to, but it feels a little like starting over. On the flip side, I am no longer long-distance with my boyfriend!
What is something you hope never changes?
I hope I can continue to travel and meet new people. It brings me a lot of joy to explore new places and hear everyone else’s story.
When do you feel most capable?
When I do things alone/try new activities. I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, but I was still scared to do activities on my own. These days, I really cherish my alone time, and I don’t wait for other people to do the things that I love.
How do you nurture yourself?
Dance around the house to my favorite music, cuddle with my cat, watch mindless reality tv, try a new bar or coffee shop in the city.
How do you nurture others?
I check up on how others are doing, remember the little things that make people happy, and am a safe space for others to show their emotions.
Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?
I wish I would have told my parents how I was really feeling as a teenager. I was struggling a lot but always put on a brave face.
What is something that turns you on?
Talking to someone who actually listens. I often felt like I wasn’t being heard as a kid.
What is something that turns you off?
Rudeness towards service workers. I feel like it’s completely unnecessary. As a former waitress, I know how difficult the job is on its own.
When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?
I walked away from a friendship. We did things together almost every weekend until she got a boyfriend. We could only hang out together at times when he wasn’t available. I felt like we could only do things when it was convenient for her.
How often do you feel you achieve balance?
I actually think I achieve balance often. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have jobs that do not consume me/have me work extra hours. I pride myself on being able to spend time with friends, my boyfriend, while also having time to myself each week.
What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?
I decided to move across the country and live alone after college instead of living with my boyfriend. I was very scared and thought it might be too much for our relationship, but I grew so much by living alone. I feel like I was able to appreciate being alone and put myself out there to make friends.
When do you feel most overwhelmed?
I feel most overwhelmed when any conflict is present. Conflict has always been difficult for me and makes me act/feel irrationally. For example, if there is a conflict with my partner, my mind goes down a rabbit hole of all the reasons we should break up.
How do you move forward?
Lately, journaling has helped me a lot. I had a hard time being consistent for a while, but now I try to journal at least once a week. I feel like I always have a lot going on in my mind, and it feels good to get those thoughts out.
What is something that will always make you laugh?
I love it when people joke about trends on TikToks. It’s so funny that we’re all connected by the stupid things we see online.
What is something that will always make you cry?
Abandoned animals. It breaks my heart.
Have you ever been betrayed?
I can’t think of anything recent that made me feel betrayed. What immediately comes to mind are things that happened as a kid. I always felt really hurt if I believed I was close friends with someone and they ended up not inviting me to their birthday party. It’s a small thing, but I still think about it sometimes when I make friends today.
What is your greatest temptation?
Alcohol. I come from a family of addiction—specifically, alcoholism. I have a weird relationship with alcohol because it tends to always be involved when hanging out with friends and family. I am working on finding other activities in my life that don’t include alcohol.
What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?
I feel like I am missing a fulfilling career. My job is fine and it pays the bills, but I wish I had a job that would make me feel good at the end of the day.
What is one thing you can’t get enough of?
My cat! She’s been my best friend through all of the changes I’ve been through since college. I love hearing her meowing whenever I get home from work and cuddling with her every night before bed.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
I am going to Spain next month! This will be my first major international trip and I’m so excited.