#346. "one thing I can’t get enough of? Nature—holy shit."
TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS
Age: 26
Relationship Status: Single (Divorced)
Occupation: Student
Astrological Sign: Aquarius
How are you, really?
I'm okay—just riding the waves each day, doing my best to stay afloat. Some days are calm, others are rough, and it’s hard not to get stuck in the ruts or pulled under by the currents. But I remind myself that every wave passes, and I just take it one moment at a time.
What is the greatest change you’ve made this year?
The greatest change I’ve made this year is trying to let go of expectations, control, and the need for things to stay the same. It’s a huge work in progress. Honestly, I hate change. It throws off my routine and makes me shut down. But I'm learning to adapt, even if it's just one small step at a time.
What is something you hope never changes?
Something I hope never changes is my ability to feel deeply and empathize with others. I truly feel all the feels, and I’m a very understanding person. I’m not trying to pat myself on the back, but I form strong, meaningful connections, and I love that about myself. Sometimes I hate it because it can be overwhelming, but if I had to live without it, I know I’d feel empty like watching a beautiful sunset in black and white. Feeling everything, the joy, the pain, the love, is what makes life so raw and real, and I never want to lose that.
When do you feel most capable?
I feel most capable when I prove myself wrong. When I push through self-doubt and do something I thought I couldn’t, it reminds me that I’m stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for. Whether it’s handling a tough situation, learning something new, or stepping outside my comfort zone, those moments show me that I’m always growing, even when I don’t realize it.
How do you nurture yourself?
I nurture myself by letting nature nurture me. Being outside, whether it’s feeling the sun on my skin, breathing in fresh air, or listening to the wind in the trees, always brings me back to myself. Epsom salt baths help me unwind, letting the warmth relax both my body and mind. And honestly, having a clean room and kitchen makes a huge difference too. When my space is in order, I feel lighter and more at peace. It’s all about creating moments of calm and connection that help me feel grounded and refreshed.
How do you nurture others?
I nurture others by giving whether it’s my time, energy, or a home-cooked meal. Cooking is one of my favorite ways to show care and bring comfort. I also nurture through genuine friendship, something that feels lost in today’s world. Whether or not it’s always reciprocated, I pride myself on being a good human. People love to feel seen, and to be loved is to be seen.
Is there anything you wish you had said but didn’t?
I wish I had said fuck you to my ex-in-laws. The resentment still sits heavy because they completely ruined my marriage with their enmeshment. They painted me as the monster while acting holier than holy, but the truth is they’re so fake it makes me sick. I don’t know how they live with themselves knowing the destruction they caused. I bit my tongue so many times just to keep the peace, but looking back, I wish I had stood up for myself and called out their hypocrisy instead of letting it eat away at me.
What is something that turns you on?
Emotional intelligence and just being a good, genuine human being. Holy shit, it’s so hard to find. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who is self-aware, kind, and actually understands how their actions affect others. Real connection, deep conversations, and people who show up with honesty and integrity—that’s what really does it for me.
What is something that turns you off?
Not being true to yourself and being selfish are huge turn-offs. There’s nothing worse than someone who changes who they are to please others or hides behind a fake version of themselves. I respect people who own who they are, flaws and all. When someone lacks authenticity or only thinks about themselves, it’s obvious, and it makes it hard to trust or connect with them. Just be real and think about others too, that’s all that matters.
When was the last time you walked away from something that no longer served you?
The last thing I walked away from was my marriage. I was mourning a person who was still alive, and it still hurts. I find myself romanticizing the good times because it would be easier if he had been a huge asshole. But the truth is, I still see the good in him. Letting go was painful, but staying would have meant losing myself even more. Walking away was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I know it was necessary.
How often do you feel you achieve balance?
Balance? I don’t even know what that is. I feel like I’m in constant fight or flight, and my nervous system desperately needs a break. It’s exhausting always being on high alert, and balance feels like something I’m always chasing but never catching.
What is one risk you took that resulted in reward?
Walking away from my marriage. It was terrifying, painful, and full of uncertainty, but in the end, it gave me back my sense of self. Letting go of something familiar, even when it wasn’t serving me, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But the reward was freedom, growth, and the chance to build a life that truly feels like mine. I’m learning to be me again, and fuck, it feels good.
When do you feel most overwhelmed?
I feel most overwhelmed every day. I do everything by myself—managing a home, being a full-time student, and trying to keep up with life. It gets to be too much, and I shut down because I don’t know how to cope very well. It feels like I’m constantly running on empty, just trying to make it through.
How do you move forward?
I move forward by reminding myself that it is what it is. Some days I shut down, but eventually, I pick myself back up because I have no other choice. I focus on small victories, even if it’s just getting through the day. I’ve survived every hard moment so far, and I’ll survive the next.
What is something that will always make you laugh?
My baby sister. No matter how heavy life feels, she always finds a way to make me laugh. We’re six years apart, but you’d never know it with how in sync we are. She is the light in my world, the kind of joy that makes everything feel a little easier. We are absolute cackling hens when we’re together, and I thank God for her every day.
What is something that will always make you cry?
Everything? It’s a curse. But being called names by someone you love, that shit stings. Words from the people who are supposed to love you cut the deepest. Doing everything on my own is hard, carrying the weight of it all with no one to lean on. And animals, I’m a huge animal lover. They’re so defenseless, and anything involving their suffering breaks my heart every time.
Have you ever been betrayed?
Is this trauma dumping time? Yes, I’ve been betrayed. It’s one of those experiences that stays with you and cuts deep. It’s kind of sad. No matter how hard you try, it skews hope for the next friendship or any relationship.
What is your greatest temptation?
Can being a lover girl be a temptation? Lol. I often rush through life trying to mold people into what I think will fill my cup, even when they don’t truly fit. I get caught up in the idea of connection and love, but deep down, I know forcing something never leads to anything real. It’s hard to resist, but I’m learning that it’s better to wait for the right fit than to try to make something work that isn’t meant to.
What is one thing you feel is missing from your current life?
One thing I feel is missing from my current life? A true fucking partner. A real man who’s genuine, supportive, and matches my energy. It’s hard to find someone who really gets you and shows up the way you need them to. And a sense of purpose—I’m still working on my career, and it’s hard not to compare myself to others. I feel like I don’t know my true life calling yet, and that uncertainty weighs on me.
What is one thing you can’t get enough of?
One thing I can’t get enough of? Nature—holy shit, I love nothing more than sitting in my rocking chair on the porch, listening to the birds chirp and the wind in the trees. Good weather is a huge bonus too. I’m a big lover of life’s little tender mercies that are often forgotten.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
After years of chronic illness, I see the light.