FLASHBACK FRIDAY
TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS (THE 2nd SET OF Q's)
Age: 32
Relationship Status: Single
Occupation: Food Product Developer
Income: $90K
Astrological Sign: Capricorn
What is your first thought every morning?
That I want to sleep more, I always reach out to my phone to see TikTok - I know it's frowned upon to look at social media when you wake up, but I honestly don't mind it. I like my TikTok algorithm, and it is a little me time where I can see different opinions, art, and movie recommendations. I love it.
What is something you do solely for you?
Spend time alone, doing nothing. I feel fortunate to have time alone with nothing to do, and I really enjoy it.
What is something you dread?
The constant pressure of needing to know your goals and pretty much have your life figured out. There is a lot of conversation out there about what you should be doing when you hit 30, and right now, I am 32, and I don’t have clarity on what the next 5 -10 years will look like. I know I should have a plan, but I dread thinking of it because I actually don’t know what I want. Work-wise, I don't know what I want to be doing, or which direction I want to go in. I don’t know if I will ever meet someone and settle down. I don’t know if I will always stay in the city where I currently live, with so many questions and so little clarity.
What is something you are looking forward to?
I’ve had a roommate for the past 6 years - she just moved out. We had a great relationship, but it was time to part ways (on good terms), and I am really looking forward to this new era of my life of living by myself again.
When do you feel most accomplished?
When I get things done at home and work. Sometimes, it is hard for me to figure out what I should be doing during the day, but when I get that little spark of organization, I enjoy checking off boxes of what I have accomplished during the day.
What is something you regret investing in financially?
I think my biggest regret is not paying more attention to my 401k plans. I started working when I was 23 years old, and I probably should have at least tried to understand them better. I think at that age, I didn't quite understand the importance of it and how to plan for my future. I am still unsure how they work, but I have a meeting with a financial planner this week, so hopefully I can gain the education and information I need to start making smarter choices, especially given the fragile state of the economy, which seems particularly precarious right now.
What is something you regret investing in emotionally?
From 2016 to now (2025), I've been single. I haven't made much effort to meet new people, and it's been tough seeing those around me reach milestones like getting married or having kids. I've tried being more outgoing and social, but my anxiety would often make me drink too much and come on too strong.
When I go out with my married friends, there's always talk about finding a "hot” guy for me, which makes me feel like I have to look for someone to connect with during the night out, since I am the only single one. I’d end up trying to flirt or find someone to kiss, but because it feels like an obligation, I just become awkward and uncomfortable. I always regret putting so much pressure on myself to be the person who constantly flirts (even though I’m not great at it, and that’s okay).
I’m getting better at managing my anxiety around being the only single person, but I still haven’t figured out the whole flirting and dating thing. My question is: does it happen naturally, or is it something we need to actively try for? There’s so much conflicting advice out there, and I’m feeling a little confused.
(Disclaimer: I am not saying my friends are forcing me to do things, not at all. It's the internal pressure I put on myself.)
What are three things you think are absolutely worth the investment?
(financially, emotionally, or time/energy-wise)
Time/energy-wise: Hobbies, I have always thought I don’t have any hobbies, and I just started doing water coloring at home. I am very bad at it, but the activity made me feel very creative, and it gives me peace. I want to explore more activities like this; maybe my hobby is being open to new experiences.
Financially: I think learning how to budget and understanding how you spend your money. I am not saying don’t spend your money and save save save but at least have some clarity of where all of it goes. I would sometimes spend months without checking my bank accounts because I was scared and now that I budget (I am not good at saving yet) it does give me a sense of control which is very rewarding.
Emotionally: At 32, I thought I would have things figured out in my life and also truly know who I am, but the reality is I don’t have those answers. While I thought this came organically (for some people, it might), I have started using ChatGPT, not for advice or a psychological summary of my thoughts, but for help in connecting the dots of things I like or dislike. For example, I shared with ChatGPT that I really enjoy scrolling through Pinterest, and it told me, based on the content I consume, that I enjoy art. I know it sounds silly but, honestly, I couldn’t connect the dots. It's hard to get to know yourself, but I think it's worth putting in the effort to do so. It may be easier for some people, but there is no right or wrong answer regarding how to approach this.
When do you feel most creative?
It's funny because creativity hits me at the most random times. It could be when I am getting ready to go to bed, it could be while I am driving, or when I am stuck on something at work. I have not really paid much attention to when, so I liked this question a lot because its making me want to pay attention to my creativity and see if I can find a pattern.
How often do you compare yourself to others? When?
All the time, and sometimes I do it without noticing it.
What is one thing you’d like to thank your past self for?
I would like to thank myself for making the decision to buy my current house at 25 years old. This was back in 2018 before covid hit, I was very young, and my parents thought since I was making good money and living by myself that it was a great time to do it. I obviously have to thank my parents for always giving me the best life advice, but I also want to thank myself for making the decision and moving forward with it.
What is one thing you believe about your future self?
That I will be okay, whether it will be by myself or with a family of my own.
What is one thing you learned in childhood that you have now had to unlearn in adulthood?
This is a tough question. I think it's about believing that I am deserving of love and good things overall. I'm not sure why I always feel like I have to earn those things. I had a great childhood and amazing parents, so I don't know where this lack of self-esteem comes from.
Have you ever felt pure joy? When?
Yes, every time I am with my family, and we are just hanging out. I feel safe and like I am being taken care of, while also taking care of them. I feel pure joy during those moments and try to savor them as much as I can. I am a very lucky girl to have been blessed with the family I have.
What is something that would feel really good to get off your chest?
While I love my personal time and being alone, I also fear, what if I end up alone? Would it be the worst thing to have happen? What if there is no one to take care of me?
When do you feel most in your feminine energy?
When I get stuff done in my house, whether it is putting away clean laundry, or folding my towels so they look cute in the bathroom. I enjoy having an organized space, and that feels very feminine to me.
What is one interaction that changed your life?
I’m not sure if this counts as an interaction, but I want to share a story about a friend I made in college. We became really close because we did an internship together. A few days before graduation, during our last semester, she was offered a job but turned it down because she didn’t like the location. However, she referred me to the recruiting team. I applied for the position, got the job, and it ended up shaping my entire career. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank her!
What is something you want to give up?
I want to give up vaping, but I have the hardest time when I try to. If there are any tips and tricks, I am open to advice on this.
What is something you want to take up?
There are a lot of things; I feel like we never stop learning and there is so much to learn in life. I would definitely like to enroll in an art history class or course.
What do you believe is a universal truth?
That ugly crying for no apparent reason and then realizing it was just that you were going to start your period is the best “I am not crazy” relief moment.
BONUS: Tell me something good.
This is super random, but I realized I had become highly dependent on nasal sprays for about three years. My mom warned that it could be very harmful, possibly damaging the cartilage in my nose, so I decided to see a specialist. The nose doctor was fantastic; she checked everything out and said my nose looked fine. She explained that nasal spray dependency is actually quite common and gave me antihistamines because my nasal turbinate was really swollen from using the spray, which was why I had trouble breathing. The antihistamines worked really well, and I’ve been completely free of nasal spray for almost 20 days now (I was using it about three times a day). I have a follow-up appointment with her this Saturday, so I'm hoping everything is still looking good.