SUNDAY Q&A WITH DEVYN

TLD HER: 20 QUESTIONS

Every week, I ask women the same 20 Questions (anonymously), then give them the opportunity to ask me one in return. Here’s what they wonder about life

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Question: I would love some post-grad advice. How do I determine where I should move to after school? How do I make friends as an adult? Any financial advice? Just things that, if you could go back in time and tell a 22-year-old you, what would you tell her?

Devyn’s Answer: I work with women in their 20’s to help them through this exact transition period, because despite how often we are told that at 18 we must leave the nest, we are often grossly underprepared for real life and what to do with our own. No one prepares you for the consequences of your actions (or inactions), no one tells you that your relationship with your family will change as you age, and no one teaches you how to properly enforce boundaries or how to make decisions based on self-trust rather than impulse…which is why your 20’s feel like somewhat of a shitshow. We are all undergoing major transformation under the guise of ‘adulthood,’ which implies that we should somehow know exactly what to do and magically have things figured out as we enter this new chapter.

That said, if I had advice for my 22-year-old self: a young girl, in a big city, making new friends, figuring out her career, going through heartbreak, learning balance, dating for fun, drinking cheap tequila, and trying desperately to make sense of life, here is what I’d say to her.